|
Hmm... A whole page in which I will subject you to my mind!! Muwahaha!! Um...right. This page is going to be full with random thoughts, quotes-diff. than the quote page-and basically whatever my mind comes up with. Maybe I'll explain, maybe I won't. "i write to hide with words what only words can express" -Luis
Why is there always a tear and the darkness? Does anyone else ever ask? Who knows? Who tries? Who even cares? No one can easily comprehend, so they stay away, choose the easy instead of the true. When will someone try to see? Or shall I be left alone, silver tears mirroring the stars in the blanketed darkness of the sky. ^I've taken my poems off this page. You can read them here. ^
Or, for a change of pace, a link to the poem that formally was here. It was taking up too much space, so i moved it. I leave life to dreams and living to nightmares,
let lovers be ghosts in shadows untouched
leave loving to the whispers of the autumn breeze
And let the chilled hand of darkness caress me still
let the moon fall down and stir up dark spirits
to kiss my neck and bite my wrist
while the crisp wind brushes its hands through my hair
and kisses my fingers to feel more than cold,
the candle lit moon holds its still place
to watch my longing and dream of love's touch
love's demon touch
through sharp branches and devilish thorns
that rips at my being and clings to me still,
more fiercely with passion than my dreams ever could
leave love to my dreams and loving to nightmares
let a cold gravestone be love's full pillow
and the dirt of living be loving's bed
let icy bone fingers clutch at my heart
and a cracked-tooth skull kiss my forehead
whilst statues of angels watch over my bed
I lie where love's touch was my hearts grave sin
and there let life fall to ashes
-Luis
Once again, I have been silenced.
If the world made sence, there'd be no place for teachers and scholars. If life were easy people would all be fat and insolent. If people weren't unintelligent, there'd be no one to motive the smart to work harder in order to bring th average up. If everyone was happy all the time, life would seem monotonous, flat and false, good art would cease to exist and people would forget what happiness really is. If everyone was succesful, we'd have no way to define success. Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed. If all dreams came true, peopel would stop trying, relyying only on wishes, thus becoming lazy and taking life's small miracles for granted. It is the darkness that defines the light.
But on the other hand, we'd be rid of war, famine, greed, hunger, and poverty.
"To live the ultimate dream is to face the ultimate nightmare."
This will have to be my new motto, for it offers some semblence of hope to the horrific event of my life. Maybe by suffering through this I can hope to acheive the dreams of my heart. Unless this is one of those million to one chances that crop up nine times out of ten... they only happen if it is exactly one in a million, 999,999 is close but no cigar. Maybe this is only a nightmare, only my nightmare, not the ultimate nightmare. It is possible that it is simply my fate to endure for my eternity. A never-ending cycle...
a dream is a wish the heart makes.
but I wouldn't want these dreams to come true.
my heart is unfaithful to me.
Why? I disown my heart.
everyone's in a twisted circle of reality.
no dream follows the heart follows the mind.
we need to sort out our minds.
you ask me to stay, not to go
I want to ditch the logical.
traped inside, lost in time (first part to the tune
held together by all mankind. of Here's to the Night)
Set me free oh I pray (the rest a collection
and someday I'll fly away of music quotes)
leave all this to yesterday.
Why live life from dream to dream?
A sad little thought
left alone
like a bacteria
multiplies
invades
destroys.
the world trembles on a breath
cries alone in the corner wondering why.
Her eyes misted over, clear crystal prisms in the corners of her deep eyes. His silent words drifting over her like a deep wave, a cold blast of a sudenly icy evening. And in that final, dark blue moment, he held her hand, gently, tenderly, and slipping her ring off the finger where it had lay for so long, twisted it the other way, the ending way, the way of solitude, letting the discomfort of change imidiately set in. His blue eyes staring into hers, an icy tear journying down his cheek. Pressing two of his fingers firmly to his lips and then gently touching hers, he stood up, and turned away for the last time, leaving her in a dense emptiness.
She opened her heart and cried. His love had filled the void within her soul, the void made by time and opened, unsealed by trust. And now, devoid of all barriors and all filling warmth, all emotion and all feeling spilled out from within her in a masive, painful typhoon. Alone, in the dark of herself, she found no shoulder to dry on, no hand to hold, no love to wipe away the tears of her heart. She sat, staring at the dark emptiness of the deserted door, mirroring what she saw within. He had walked out and had taken her home with him.
Pastoral
The little sparrows
hop ingenuously
about the pavement
quareling
with sharp voices
over those things
the interest them.
But we who are wiser
shut ourselves in
on either hand
and no one knows
whether we think good
or evil.
Meanwhile,
the old man who goes about
gathering dog-lime
walks in the gutter
without looking up
and his tread
is more majestic than
that of the Episcopal minister
approaching the pulpit
of a Sunday.
These things
astonish me befond words.
-William Carlos Williams
"He writes not of love but of lust, of defeats in which nobody loses anything of value, of victories without hope and, worst of all, without pity or compassion. His griefs grieve on no universal bones, leaving no scars. He writes not of the heart but of the glands." -Faulkner
Fire and Ice
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favore fire.
But if the world had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would sufice.
-Robert Frost
"Trusting desire-starting to learn
walking through fire without a burn
Clinging-a shoulder, a leap begins
Stinging and older, asleep on pins."
-I should Tell You, RENT
If life gives you lemons,
make lemonade...
But if you don't have enough sugar,
it will always be sour.
So clean and intact
The flesh on my arms are
How many times
the monks have chanted
Thanks to an invisible force
which protrays man only
How sad to think it was all a lie
The blade it glides across slowly
Barely puncturing yet aware
Aware of the anguish
And the pain that exists
Yet hides in every crevice
I'm numb to all
Silent chants are heard yet not believed
Nonchalantly retell the tale of death
How gruesome they make him seem
How unaware
The blde goes deeper
No pain is felt they assure
It only is aware when it pays to be
Awake from slumber
To see with eyes anew
with hearing acute
with a sence that requires none
Go beyond this world
Go beyond the next
And take the han that you feared
Only to see how soft it is
Not how cold it felt
Nor how you wished to scream
But how its shadow followed
Caressed and smiled down on you
No longer lonely
Welcome to the circle of pain
Deaf to the horrors they see
Mute because ther is nothing you see
Pinch and maybe you'll awake
Perhaps it was all just a bad dream
-Luna
and what am I?
what do I count for?
Any reason to add me in
to the equasion
at all?
I am just one more dot
one measly little voice
in the throng
no better or worse.
but what is self worth?
who has it? is confidence just a game?
is any soul worth its weight?
fighting to say yes
and often saying no
Whoa. Alright. SO I'm sitting in History and on the back of the shirt in front of me I read:
"The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth,
But They Will Never Rule the Water."
I have always loved this one. Just sit and think about that. I don't know, maybe it's just my obsesion with water...but it didn't stop there. I wrote that quote down and imdiately, this popped into my head:
"Inherit the wind."
Technically supposed to mean you get nothing, you know like a lot of plain old air..but stop there. Where has this air been, what does it know. The wind is said to have color, smell taste, I think I might like to have the wind. Think of all the power you would have with the wind. But I kept going:
"A Wind in the Door"
Yes it's a title of a book, but so was the last one. I really stopped to wonder, what would 'wind in the door' be? Is it holding it open, trying to close it, cool down what's in side, blow something in, blow something out... and then if you just inherited the wind, you now have the power to do all this, and more. And wind is just so endless... But getting on to the door:
"I can only show you the door, you have to walk through it."
SO even with all the power of the wind, it can only lead the way, you are still in control, you have to make the move take the step. You can be stubborn, refuse, miss out maybe. But what if the wind possed your mind, told you to tell you to open that door? Where would you end up?  Here's a poem. Just read and really think about it. I really, really like it. Just think...
I Won't Let Them
They have never seen me at my worst,
They've never seen me at my lowest low,
They've never seen me cry,
I won't let them.
They never know that the little things grow bigger
with time.
They never see the pain swell and thry to
take over my pride.
They've never seen the real me.
They've never seen me cry.
I won't let them.
So I try to be strong, self-confident
and content
I try to beat them at their own game,
But none of it is real,
Until they see my cry,
And I won't let them.
-Beth "From urbanization came the grimest product of civilization-war."
Pleasant isn't it. Nice little yin yang type deal--no good without bad. Unfortunately, this could be argued to be very, very bad... "... men myriad and nameless even to one another..." -Faulkner.
This one's, well...fitting in a way. People seem so desesitized to one another at times. No one seems to bother about other's and no one really stops to try and find you someone really is. There is so much inside someone, but no one ever shows it. Nameless it not not haveing something to be called, it is so much deeper. It is your true name, your essence, and no one knows who that person is. It's sad, so very sad... "Slide deeper into your subconcious, where real thinking takes place." -My English teacher
In is the mind that you cannot access, cannot predict, cannot control that knows all the answers. Deep down inside it can show you the path you want to follow. Only in the security of confidence in your thoughts and self can you even hope to find the truth. Real thinking is not with your mind, but with your soul. "Trying to break but couldn't get the pieces apart."
Just think of the possibilities with that...
Two thoughts, from different people, coincidentally about the dreams within our minds...
"My mind is just a distraction from something better."
-Matt
And my own:
I can't live in my dream world. They just won't let me. Damn reality keeps forcing itself in. I can feel it, I am going to crack. That can't happen. But how can I prevent that if they keep cutting my lifelines? How can I ask them to stop if I can't explain, can't tell them...
(Note: This was not written in responce to recent events) I don't know if I should post this, but I'm going to anyways. It's also a bit old...but it still works...
J'aime le monde, je crois. Je sais que je veux tu. Je ne sais pas! Je t'aime, mais c'est diffacile savoir. Je veux voir tu, tous les jours. Je sais que. Je veux etre avec tu.
Now that's incorrect French as ever seen... oh well. Add an accent circumflex over the e in 'etre'. The way of life is ironic. Whatever you expect to happen usually does not. And if it does, its not in the way you would expect it to, causing still more irony. People always say it will happen when you least expect it. But that makes it seem as though you at one time were expecting something. More often than not, you could have never imagined life to turn out such, and yet time and time again, that is exactly as it turns out.
Maybe you tease a friend, in a friendly way of course, for something they have done, but then a week or so later, find yourself doing the same thing. Life seems almost its own entity, constantly challenging us and forcing us into new situations, forcing us to constantly rethink our moral values, our opinions, ideas, our very thoughts and feelings. And it takes great effort to be able to sit back and laugh at the irony of it all, for it is extremely funny, and yet realize what it is that is changing within you. And for more fun, sit back and realize what is changing in those around you. Fate seems to have it set, that random shall prevail over logical and rational thought. No matter what you think you know or feel, life will find some way to change that. Your plans will be thwarted, and yet, something truly wonderful will come out of it. Because random will always win, but it is all perfectly planned, perfectly timed and in sync with everything else. Just know, that you cannot cling to your old values of logic and you cannot cling to those perfectly planned ideas and rational arguments. Life will find a way to change that, and the harder of a hold of a grasp you hold, the more life will try to pull you away.
"Fighting to wake up from a nightmare I don't want to end." -Me |
